Diary

I don't feel good. When I feel so, it makes me wanted to write in this diary. It's not that I want everyone to know what's happening to me. It's because I don't want to disturb my friends or family by approaching them directly and telling them my problems. So it's better off writing it down.

I have a mixed feeling. Hard to describe. But I just know I feel uneasy with this feeling. Sometimes I feel that it's better for me to leave my home country and go venture alone out there to start a new life in a new environment. At least, I would be much lighter in terms of the burden within myself that I could let go when I leave.

But it's my choice to stay here. I just can't leave like that. I have family to take care of. And they are my priority. But they are not a burden to me.

The burden I have is the past memories of mine which was full of sadness, disappointment. Although it has passed, it does not leave my mind and soul. I want to let go, but it's hard. Sometimes it just keep appearing in my mind. I guess that's a reminder for me. Not to let it repeat in my life.