Sunday, March 22, 2015

Did I marry the right person?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love."
Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling .

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Beyond Imagination































HUMAN BEINGS ARE SUCH SMALL CREATURES, AREN'T THEY?
SO DON'T BE TOO WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING.
TREASURE EVERY MOMENT, DO WHAT YOU WISH TO DO.
BROADEN YOUR VIEW, BROADEN YOUR MIND.
DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE BOTHERING YOU.
DO TREASURE YOUR LOVE, LIVE SAFELY AND PEACEFULLY.
ALWAYS BE HAPPY TO WELCOME THE COMING OF THE NEW DAY! ENJOY THE SUNSHINE!
ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS.

It has been more than a year...

...since I last updated my blog. Oh my! That just showed how long I have not spent quality time with myself.


It's time to rethink my journey...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Friends

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Monday, January 7, 2013

Western Vs Asians

Key:
Blue -->
Westerners
Red –> Asians


(1) Opinion
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Westerners: Talk to the point.
Asians: Talk around the circle, especially if opinions are different.

(2) Way of Life
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Westerners: Individualism, think of himself or herself.
Asians: Enjoy gathering with family and friends, solving their problems, and know each other's business.


(3) Punctuality
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Westerners: On time.
Asians: In time.


(4) Contacts
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Westerners: Contact to related person only.
Asians: Contact everyone everywhere, business very successful.


(5) Anger
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Westerners: Show that I am angry.
Asians: I am angry, but still smiling... (Beware!)


(6) Queue when Waiting
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Westerners: Queuing in an orderly manner.
Asians: Queuing?! What's that?


(7) Sundays on the Road
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Westerners: Enjoy weekend relaxing peacefully.
Asians: Enjoy weekend in crowded places, like going to the mall.


(8) Party
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Westerners: Only gather with their own group.
Asians: All focus on the one activity that is hosted by the CEO.


(9) In the restaurant
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Westerners: Talk softly and gently in the restaurant.
Asians: Talk and laugh loudly like they own the restaurant.


(10) Travelling

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Westerners: Love sightseeing and enjoy the scenery.
Asians: Taking picture is the most important; scenery is just for the background.

(11) Handling of Problems
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Westerners: Take any steps to solve the problems.
Asians: Try to avoid conflicts, and if can, don't leave any trail.


(12) Three meals a day
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Westerners: Good meal for once a day is sufficed.
Asians: At least 3 good meals a day.


(13) Transportation
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Westerners: Before drove cars, now cycling for environmental protection.
Asians: Before no money and rode a bike, now got money and drive a car.


(14) Elderly in day-to-day life
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Westerners: When old, there is snoopy for companionship.
Asians: When old, guarantee will not be lonely, as long as willing to babysit grandkids.


(15) Moods and Weather
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Westerners: The logic is rain is pain.
Asians: More rain, more prosperity.


(16) The Boss
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Westerners: The boss is part of the team.
Asians: The boss is a fierce god.


(17) What's Trendy
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Westerners: Eat healthy Asian cuisine.
Asians: Eat expensive Western cuisine.


(18) The Child

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Westerners: The kid is going to be independent and make his/her own living.
Asians: Slog whole life for the kids, the centre of your life.