Friends

Dead Heart

Finally I know the real side of you. When you can complaint to your friend about another friend by saying, “Who is she? She is nothing!” I finally know what kind of friend you are. 6 years of friendship and I’m nothing to you.

When you met with accident and you needed someone to be there for you, you gave me a call. I went there to accompany you.

When you were sad and you needed someone to listen to you, you gave me call, I stopped doing all my things and pay full attention to you.

When you needed someone to help you in your work, you gave me a call, I helped you as much as I could.

When you didn’t have car to go out, you gave me a call, I fetched you where ever you wanted to go.

When you needed someone to hang out with you, you gave me a call, I did my best to make time for you.

Have I not done enough as a friend? Did I owe you anything?

When I met with accident, I didn’t even call you to accompany me because I would try my best to settle myself.

When I was sad, I didn’t even call you to ask you to spare your time listening to me because I didn’t want to share unhappiness with friends unless I seriously needed advice. Instead, I chose to write in blog.

When I encountered problems with my work, I didn’t even call you to request for your help because I didn’t want to trouble you with it.

When I didn’t have car to go out, I didn’t even call you to fetch me go anywhere because I didn’t want to rely on my friends.

And now you can be so cruel by saying I’m nothing to you at all. I finally realized your true face. When I heard this, I wasn’t angry. My heart just died.

A Fact Is Still A Fact

My cousin told me, “When you’ve done something wrong, sometimes an apology means nothing at all. It might not save back anything.”

At that moment, I stumbled upon it. What she said was right. Just like when a murderer has killed someone, he is still guilty of it even if he repent, admit his mistake, apologize and seek for forgiveness. The fact that he has killed someone is a past incident that cannot be changed. Thus, he is still guilty of his crime and is subject to punishment under the law.

So now I realized sometimes when I accidentally hurt my friends through my speeches, my apology means nothing at all because it is a fact that has happened and I’m guilty of what I’ve done. Therefore, I deserve a punishment.

Are you ok?

One of my best friends from UM messaged me this morning. In her message, she asked me this, “Are you ok?” Upon seeing these 3 words, I burst into tears. It was a very sudden reaction. Although they are just 3 simple words. But they meant a lot to me. Then only I realized I’m not ok although all this while I’ve been telling myself that I’m ok. And I realized I’m deeply hurt. It’s even more painful than breaking up with first love. So weak, isn’t it?

Please Leave Us Alone

Why do you want to purposely bad mouth about your friend’s partner in front of your friend when both of them already knew each other weaknesses? What intention do you have? Do you want to make them break up? Are you happy if they break up? What kind of heart do you have? Why suddenly you can become so scary? Like an evil mind with angel’s face.

…

We know all of you hated us so much and we already decided to leave and will not disturb all of you again.

Why then do you still want to keep on disturbing us?

Why do you still want to put fire on us?

Why do you still want to create problems for us?

Are you too free that you got nothing better else to do?

If you are free, we are not. We still have our families to care for. We don’t have time for any arguments. We dislike arguments.

Please grow up.

Opinion

Opinion is a very subjective matter. Everyone will have their own thoughts and opinions. There is no absolute right or wrong in opinion because it is merely a judgment. It is common that sometimes people might disagree with your opinion.

When we disagree with your opinion, you said we are childish.

When we disagree with your opinion, you said we are stubborn.

When we disagree with your opinion, you said our EQ is low.

When you give your opinion, we listened to you and respect your thoughts although we might disagree with it. We don’t condemn you. But you who always think that you’re always right and whatever opinion that other people give to you are always wrong when you disagree with it.

So in this case, who is actually more childish, stubborn and has lower EQ?

It is very funny that sometimes people just know how to judge others and forget to judge themselves. They can give plenty of bad comments about other people but they would never think of commenting on themselves. It is very important to remember that no one is perfect in this world and so everyone has weaknesses.

When you think that your opinions are always right and other people’s opinions are always wrong. Don’t you think you have over rated yourself? Have your ever calm down and reflect upon yourself?

Those who have high self-awareness (high EQ) would have known this fact. So when those people who listened to others opinion, although it might be a bad comment about them, and realized that actually it is their mistake, they would admit it. So when those people admit their mistake, humiliate themselves and throw away their pride to take the first step to apologize to others, they are actually the ones that have higher self-awareness as compared to those who don’t even want to admit their mistakes and tried every possible way to blame it on others.

It’s a courageous move for those who actually humiliate themselves putting away their pride to apologize to others. This also shows that they are sincere. But when you don’t even wish to forgive them, then there is nothing else that they can do.

I’m a human being. I have weaknesses too. So when you criticized me, at least I would stop and ponder on your comments. And when I think that what you said about me is true, then I would admit it and apologize.

You are a human being too. You too have weaknesses. But when I slightly give my opinion about you, you straight away got angry. You think whatever things that I said are bullshit. You don’t even stop and ponder upon yourself. What more to admitting your mistakes when you already think that you are always right. If what I said about you isn’t right, then why should you got angry? When you’re angry it only shows that I have hit the right button. What I said about you is true but your pride is so high that you just wouldn’t want to admit it.

You said you have encountered many types of people before. You said you’ve seen the world. You said you have more experience than anyone else of the same age. But you don’t even have little self-awareness about yourself. How good can you be?

The Truth Is Out There

When you only listen to the story of one side of the party, can you make a reasonable conclusion?

It’s very common that many people choose to straight away jump into a conclusion just based on what they hear from one party without even bother to find out whether it’s the truth or not.

They do not even exercise professional skepticism before they accept the assertion made by that party. If they are wise enough, they should know that they need to investigate to obtain more sufficient appropriate evidence before they can give a reasonable judgment.

Assertions made by people can be distorted in order to protect themselves. So how reliable can the assertion be?

I think learning auditing is really very helpful in daily life especially when it comes to cases when everyone is not fully speaking the truth because they want to protect themselves. So in this case, what can we do?

Seek for the truth!

EQ = Emotional Quotient

“A (notional) measure of a person's adequacy in such areas as self-awareness, empathy, and dealing sensitively with other people.”

Source: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/EQ

When you dislike someone and didn’t really trust him/her but yet you still go out and celebrate birthday for that person. Does this mean that you have high EQ?

I seriously don’t think so. As you can read from the definition, this matter has got nothing to do with EQ at all. It’s about you being real or fake.

Knowing that you dislike/distrust that person and yet you still went on to celebrate birthday for him/her only shows that you are a good actor/actress and that you can act very well by putting up a smiley-angel mask when you face that person despite that internally, you are not.

I admit I’m really a lousy actress because I can’t act at all. Everything that people see in me is the truth about myself. It’s not my fault that I can’t act right? I’m not born to be an actress. If I were, I would have been a famous artist now. LOL!

In darkness, I see lights

- I will pray for you - <Tse Hwei>

- Don’t worry, you still have us - <Yann Tyeng>

- No matter what happened, I will always stay up firm by your side - <Siew Cheng>

- We always welcome you to join us - <Alex>

- Be truthful to yourself and stay loyal to what your core are what making us, us - <Teck Wei>

The Most Heartbreaking Lesson

I learnt a lesson. The greatest lesson in my entire life so far. Trust no one except for those who truly care for you. Not even your best friend. Sometimes when you are sincere and truthful to your best friend, he/she might not treat you the same way.

I realized the strength of the friendship does not grow with the number of years you know your best friend.

I realized a friendship can be so fragile and easily broken when being tested with little problems.

I realized sometimes even your best friend would bad mouth you in front of others.

I realized sometimes your best friend would not stand by your side when you are being accused.

I realized your best friend sometimes would not be truthful to you knowing that you are facing difficulties.

I realized how easily a person can sabotage a long-built friendship.

I realized how easily messages can be passed on one by one with distorted truth.

I realized how foolish I was to trust most of the people around me while they are actually back stabbing me.

I realized how easily your best friend could choose to doubt you and instead trust someone whom he/she just knew for not long.

I realized sometimes even your long-known best friend can be not understanding at all.

I realized sometimes even your best friend could not accept your true personality and characteristics after knowing you for so long.

I realized your best friend sometimes could not even tolerate with you despite knowing that it is your true nature for being so.

I realized how people can be so good in acting making everyone around him/her to trust him/her easily when he/she is actually the worst fake person.

I realized some people do grow old in age but still having a childish mind.

I realized how easily a message can be misinterpreted even when you are using normal language and casual daily words to speak.

I realized how people can be so selfish in order to protect their own image.

I realized it is not worth to care for those who does not care for you.

I realized friends can be so scary sometimes.

I realized I am such a naive person all this while.

I realized how some people can think that they are always right and would never agree with other’s opinion.

I realized how stubborn a person can be thinking that their thoughts are always the best.

I realized it is better to talk less or don’t talk at all in any circumstances.

I realized how friends can so easily choose to condemn you.

I realized how people can always think that they are so noble without realizing that no one is perfect in this world and everyone has weaknesses.

I realized how your friends can be not appreciative at all when you have sacrificed for her/him and help her/him when she/he needs you.

I realized how easily your friends can choose to abandon you anytime they want without even cherishing the friendship.

I realized how easily I can be bullied even if I look tough on the outside.

I realized I can’t put any mask on when facing my friends because I would feel suffocated. I wonder how those people breathe when they have to put up mask all the time with friends.

I realized I’m a lousy actor because I only know how to show my true self to others.

I realized sometimes friends prefer you to be fake rather than real. They prefer to hear only good things even though is not real.

I realized how this world is full of lies and those that do not know how to pretend would be condemned.

I realized how weak I am now. But I realized this is certainly an eye opener for me.

I’m grateful and thankful for all these unfortunate events that have happened to me because they are such great teachers which have taught me well about the reality of life.

Dear friends…

It’s the last day. Suddenly I don’t feel like growing up. It was so much nicer to be young. To be ignorant. To be worry-free. Sad to leave, especially my friends. After this, we are going to fly our separate ways to chase our dreams. We wouldn’t know when can we ever meet again. The laughter, the tears, the happiness and the sadness that we shared are the memories that we have. Your existence made a difference in my life.

Thank you, my dear friends.

Take care.

So long.

A Moment Like This

Have you ever been through the moment when you have emotional breakdown? When you feel like disappearing from this world. Even to the extent of dying, you just want to disconnect yourself from earthly things. I do experience this moment. It does not happen just once in a lifetime. I think it happens several times in a person’s lifetime.

I think I understand why some people chose to commit suicide. It was at that moment of time that the person could not bear with the emotional breakdown they had with them. Their perseverance and rationale could not win over the emotional breakdown. It was beyond their limit to bear with it that they chose to commit suicide.

I personally feel sorry for them for not being tough enough to go through those moments. And I have had these moments too. But I did not choose to give up my life no matter how difficult my life is. Partly is because I don’t have the courage to do so and partly is because my rationale still won over my emotional breakdown.

I’m someone who is easily being emotionally attached to people especially friends. I’m very sensitive towards every words being uttered by them and every actions being done by them. But this is only applicable to those who really mean something to me. And I think this is my biggest weakness in friendship because eventually, I’m only hurting myself.

Duration is not a matter anymore

An apology doesn’t mean that the person who apologized was wrong. It just means that the person who apologized wants to stop the misunderstanding from continuing. That person wants to save the relationship/friendship between the parties involved because that person cares for the other person. However, sometimes when a continuous effort has been put up by one side of the party to maintain the relationship/friendship without getting a positive feedback from the other side of the party, that person would definitely be disappointed. And when the effort being made was being returned by harsh words or treatments, it would certainly saddened that person. As a result, it might lead to that person to stop putting up efforts on the other person anymore. Eventually, if the other party doesn’t show any effort to save this situation, that person would just remain to give silent treatment to the other party.

P/S: My silent treatment mode to you is turned on now.

简单爱

见到你真的很开心。虽然我知道我们没有什么可能可以在一起，可是偶尔见面，喝茶，聊聊天，这样也足够了。原来幸福可以是那么简单的。=)

Crazy Week!

Hardly had enough sleep for the past 5 days. Not because of work but my schedule was full of outings with friends. Most of them going back to their universities and I just want to spent more time together with them before they leave. I’m already missing them now… >_<

 

I’m so used to busy life of having fun with friends that I can’t really spend any minute doing nothing or just staying at home. It makes me feel unproductive and a waste of time though I can still do many beneficial things to fill up my time at home.

 

With this kind of attitude, I’m very sure that office work will not suit me. I rather spend time working on jobs that I like even to the extend that I might not have enough rest. At least, I feel it’s worthy. My seniors always asked me will I join auditing line after I graduate and my answer will always be NO! I’m very sure of myself, my attitude and what I like and dislike. As for now, I still have 1 year to go to search for my desired job and I will always remember the goal that I’ve set for myself!

 

Gambate, Seok Ling!

Battle

For the past few days I was mentally tired and just felt like shutting down myself from the world temporarily. Thanks to someone, I’ve regained my energy back. I went to watch BBoy Battle and somehow I got motivated by them, the break dancers. I admire those people who have passion in their lives in doing the things they like and they go all out for it! Whereas for me, I like doing many things but not deeply passionate for all the things that I’m doing. In the end, I achieve nothing. I feel that it’s better to focus in mastering one skill rather than knowing many skills but a master of none. As for now, I’m still hunting along the journey to find the thing that will ignite my passion the most.

 

P/S: Thanks to YK and congratz to him and his partner for getting 1st runner-up in the battle! ^^

^^

Getting to know new friends is a BLISS =)

Too busy for a friend?

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's Math teacher?' he asked. She nodded, 'Yes.' Then he said, 'Mark talked about you a lot.' After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.' Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. 'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.' Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.’ ‘I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary.' Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued, 'I think we all saved our lists.' That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

 

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

 

Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.

Housemates Gathering - PITSTOP

During study week, I had the first last gathering with my housemates as we are going on our separate ways after the exam. So we decided to take a break at PitStop. The only special thing here is the variety of games for us to play. Other than that, nothing else special. The food is normal. Not very nice but not that bad either.

A808 is the house where we have stayed for almost a year. Although sometimes I was struggling while staying there, it’s undeniable that I had fun time with them too! Take care pals! =)