I know I've not updated my blog for quite a long time. But today I want to blog. I want to write out how I feel. I want to write this post today especially for my room-mates.
I met them when I entered UM for the very first day. We were like strangers at that time (in fact, we were strangers) because we did not know each other. I didn't know how they were and what type of people they are and neither do they know me.
As each day passes, we started to talk more and more to each other. Until now, we've been staying with each other for almost 7 months. Our friendship became very strong and our personalities blend well with each other.
But I want to apologize to them. All this while I thought I understand them and knew them well but I'm not. I'm not sensitive enough towards how they feel and think until today when I read their blog, then only I knew I was so ignorant to their life and what's happening around them, what are they thinking and how are they feeling.
They treat me very well, we are just like a family. Whenever I'm involved in any activities, they would surely come to support me. And we have many similarities in thinking and characterictics. That's why we were fated to be put and stayed together in the same room.
To See Eng: I know at first when you knew me, I looked very cool, somehow talked less. And I was always busy with my assignments and activities. That's why you sometimes dare not talk to me. But whenever we have free time, we started to talk more. I'm happy that you are willing to share your personal stories with me, which make me understand you better, get to know more about you. But somehow, each of us would still have something within ourselves that is never spoken out. And this is what we called feeling. From the conversations I have with you, I can feel that you are a person who cares and thinks more for others rather than yourself. And you would always put others first before yourself. That is why sometimes you would rather you are the one that is being hurt for the happiness of others. After I read your blog, only I knew you actually did not want to go for MAK. But at that time I didn't know about it and keep asking you and Mun Chieng to go just because I wanted the 3 of us to spend great time together without even thinking how you would feel. I really enjoy the time we've spent together. It's great to have you and Mun Chieng as my room-mates.
To Mun Chieng: Although we talked lesser to each other, this doesn't mean that we are not close. Sometimes when I want to share my stories with you, you would always listen very patiently and attentively to me. You are a good listener. But sometimes I feel that if you have problems, you are less likely to speak it out and share with us. I don't want to see you feeling down and sad and yet, I couldn't do anything to help you. As your room-mate, sometimes I feel myself is not a good room-mate to you all. I feel that there are many things that I don't know and sometimes don't even how you feel at certain moment. When I read your blog, only I knew that you have "xin shi". Maybe sometimes it's hard for you to share your personal stories with us, but I hope if next time if you ever have any problems, don't keep to yourself, k? Although I don't know what I can do to help you, but at least you can share your burden with us. It's better to speak it out than keeping to yourself. Your room-mates will worry de...
Two more months left to go before the semester break. I really feel "bu se de" because both of you are shifting out soon. I hope I can stay with you all as room-mates until we graduate. But this is life. I guess I have to face it. Let us make a promise that we will always keep in touch and hang out together, k? I will miss you guys a lot!!!
The worst kind of lonely.
3 years ago
