You're Not Really Happy

Suddenly like this song so much. Touched my heart.

人群中哭着 你只想变成透明的颜色 
你再也不会梦或痛或心动了 
你已经决定了 你已经决定了 


你静静忍着 紧紧把昨天在拳心握着 
而回忆越是甜就是越伤人 
越是在手心留下密密麻麻深深切切淡掉了 


你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色 
你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了 
把你的灵魂挂在永远锁上的躯壳 


这世界笑了 于是你合群的一起笑了 
当生存是规则不是你的选择 
于是你含着眼泪飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞地走着 


你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色 
你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了 
把你的灵魂挂在永远锁上的躯壳 


你不是真正的快乐 你的伤从不肯完全的愈合 
我站在你左侧 却像隔着银河 
难道就真的抱着遗憾一直到老了 然后再后悔着 


你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色 
你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了 
把你的灵魂挂在永远锁上的躯壳 


你不是真正的快乐 你的伤从不肯完全的愈合 
我站在你左侧 却像隔着银河 
难道就真的抱着遗憾一直到老了 然后才后悔著 


你知道真正的快乐 你应该脱下你穿的保护色 
为什么失去了 还要被惩罚呢 
能不能就让配角全部结束在此刻 重新开始活着 

I'm missing you...

I would give the whole world for you...

Anything you ask of me, I'd do...

But I won't ask you to stay...

I'd rather walk away...

If your heart's not in it...

If you've got something to tell me...

Don't keep it inside...

Let it be heard...

It doesn't matter what mood you're in, there's always a song that can represent your feeling at any moment. Let the song sings out for you. This is the beauty of music.

What you see ain’t what you know…

Have you ever come across this kind of feeling? Where you’re smiling outside but crying inside. I know for sure many of you may have experienced this and so do I. I may seem happy, playful and even crazy sometimes when hanging out with friends and at that moment I am really happy. But when the moment has passed, sadness may come. When I’m happy, I share a lot with my friends but when I’m sad, I don’t really feel like sharing because I don’t know what to share. I just don’t like to bring sadness to others. And letting others know my sadness won’t help anything. I’ve been this way for quite a moment. Sometimes it’s just hard to describe how I feel. Some “thing” is holding me back in my heart and I’m hoping it will release me soon.

空虚

怎么了？不应该有这样的感受。为何它又来了？我到底缺少了什么？钱？时间？爱？朋友？我真的不知道。已经习惯忙碌的生活。突然一静下来了，就觉得不自在。爱跑的我，也突然觉得不想往外跑了。连身边的几个好友都不是很想见。除了家人，真的没什么人会关心我了。连好朋友都没有。朋友可以再找。可是家人只有那么一个。是没有别人可以取代的。

对不起

我知道我不够关心妳。是我的错。当妳最需要我的时候，我却没有在妳的身边陪着妳，守护着妳，支持妳。看到你这样子我很心疼。也很心痛。我的心在流泪。我知道过去的事已无法挽回。但我希望妳可以给我一次机会去补救所有的一切。这样，我才能安心。

My Passion Is Back!

Yup! That’s right! If you’ve followed me, you would know that I was not in a good condition during December because back then I lost my passion in almost everything. Now it has come back to me. =)

I’m happy that I started liking the things I do now even more than before. I appreciate every moment I have whenever I’m involved in it.

My passion is growing for…

DANCING!

SINGING!

PLAYING MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS!

BLOGGING!

SWIMMING! (Though I still don’t know how to swim but I want to learn so much!)

ALL THE THINGS I’M DOING!

When you like the things you do, that is HAPPINESS!

Passion

When one lost her passion, she lost herself. That's me - for now. After the exam ended, I lost passion in almost EVERYTHING!

I used to love performing on stage, but now when I'm given the opportunity to go up to the stage, I didn't grab it.

I used to love travelling, but now when I'm given the chance to travel, I feel reluctant.

I used to love taking photos with my camera, but now I feel lazy to bring my camera along.

I used to love hanging out, but now I just want to stay at home. Shut myself from the world.

I used to... but now...

I used to... but now...

I really didn't know what has happened to me. I shared with some of my close friends about my problem. Their comments were:

1) You are tired - Mentally.

2) It's post-exam syndrome.

3) You have not been home for too long.

4) You have changed. Your passion has changed.

Hmm... maybe all those are linked in some way. But recently, I'm very fond of this song. I guess this is how I feel now.

這一刻 回頭看見自己

這一路的風景 百感交集的我

下一刻 又將飛向哪裡

漸漸疲憊的羽翼 為你披上了勇氣

放心離開我 我會記得這一刻

那些還飛翔著 不可思議的夢

雨後的天空 會有絢爛的彩虹

像最初相信著 我們總會找到自由

這一刻 時間變成行李

越過生命悲喜 陪伴著我前進

因為你讓我看清自己

面對未知的恐懼 腳步更加堅定

放心離開我 我會記得這一刻

那些還飛翔著 不可思議的夢

雨後的天空 會有絢爛的彩虹

像最初 相信著 我會找到自由

哦……只是遠行不是逃避

告別是為延續回憶 永恆的華麗

你……要照顧自己不要忘記

那些燦爛過的痕跡

放心離開我 我會記得這一刻

那些還飛翔著 不可思議的夢

雨後的天空 會有絢爛的彩虹

像最初相信著 我會找到自由

Home Alone

So now I realized I really can't stand loneliness. My coursemates have finished their exams. I'm left with one more paper on this Thursday. My housemates are on holidays and left this house in the evening.

My housemates, Helen and Serene will finish their studies at the end of this month. They are now on study break before their finals. I guess today was the last time I met them. I hate this kind of feeling. It makes me feel like crying. The last time I have had this feeling was one year ago. When I have to say goodbyes to my ex-roommates, See Eng & Mun Chieng.

Sometimes it's just hard to leave although you know you have to. Saying goodbye is just not the word for me. But in life, we are actually living alone. Family and friends won't always be there. They come and then they go. Some might come and stay beside you for a while, and then they leave. Some might just walked passed you, not staying long. Some who are loyal, might stay beside you longer but one day, they will leave too.

Everything is just a matter of time. The family and friends you have around you are BONUS. This bonus is not eternal. So when you get it, appreciate it. When you don't get it, strive to achieve it. I'm not only saying physically their presence in your life. But include the relationship and bonding you have with them.

Well, I guess I just need to stand the moment of loneliness for a while. Then I will be back home soon to meet my family! ^^

Just That Simple

你会不会忽然的出现

在街角的咖啡店

我会带着笑脸

挥手寒暄

和你坐着聊聊天

我多么想和你见一面

看看你最近改变

不再去说从前

只是寒暄

对你说一句

只是说一句

好久不见

Simple words but with sincerity which comes from heart.

可以感受得到他有多么的想念。。。

爱上了林宇中

You can guess that this post will be about Rynn Lim. I went to his 签唱会 yesterday at Dataran Pahlawan, Melaka. I really don't know how to describe my feeling at that moment. I was very happy to see him in person. That happiness was indescribable. Although I'm not a big fan of his, I still like him very much and admire his talent in song composing. I listen to many songs by variety of singers but so far I truly only adore 4 of those artists from chinese music industry. They are Stefanie 孙燕姿, Rynn 林宇中, Jacky 张学友 and Jing 张芸京.

Though I was happy to see him yesterday, I was upset too when I saw the response from the public. There wasn't many people attended. I guess the publicity of his appearance in Malacca has not been widely spread. Even though my highest admiration is for Stefanie Sun, somehow I feel closer to Rynn Lim. Maybe partly because he is my senior from 摇篮手 and also my cousin's friend. Sometimes I really sympathize him. Becoming a local artist ain't that easy. You may see them living gloriously, but you don't know how they really live and feel deep within their heart. They are also normal human beings like us and their income based solely on us, the public.

I bought his album {Dearest Bride} and went to get his signature. I managed to talk him and invited him to come and watch Yao Lan Shou Live Concert next year. This is an annual concert for YLS held in UM and usually many local music producers and composers would attend. Rynn Lim and 李志清 have attended for the previous performance which was held on 24 February 2010.

Yesterday wasn't the first time for me to meet him in person and get his signature. When he released his 1st album, I went to support his mini concert and got his signature too. So in total, I have 2 of his original albums with his signature on them.

I didn't need to wait long in the queue for his autograph. Everything moved so fast and smooth. Like I said, there wasn't many people too. I wonder how would he feel seeing the response turned out to be like this.

There was a short game session and 3 people were being selected up. Their task was to sing his song, that's all. Easy, right? But I didn't raise my hand up to be selected because I don't really know his new songs well. Aiks... Miss it!

After the event, I went to yam cha with my friends. We went to De Rice Cafe located near Pure Bar Area. I ordered this!

Haha!! Kawaiidesu! To wind up this post of mine, I want to say "I love you, Rynn!"

My heart is feeling heavy...

Sad.

When there is no tears to describe this.

When there is no words to explain this.

When there is no pictures to express this.

When there is no melody to rhyme this.

All In One

Have you ever encountered a mixture of feelings pop up at the same time?

Happy, sad, excited, disappointed, relief, anxious, worried?

I'm facing it now.

I feel so alone...

...when you are not around.

Without realizing when and how, you've taken an important place in my heart.

Just like the saying goes, "We take a day to remember a person, but a lifetime to forget a person."

And this is very true.

I know I can live without you.

But whether or not I'm living happily without you - is another case.

So long.

This is how I'm feeling now...

Have you ever come across this situation?

Have you ever felt this way?

What does it mean by this?

Is this love?

I look at many people and always smile for no reason. Haha!!!

Staying alone in room isn't that nice after all...

It's so quiet here. I can only hear the sound of the fan in my room.

I'm lonely.

Thunder & Lightning

The thunder sound and lightning view are so scary now. The sound is so loud that it feels like the God is angry at us. The lightning keep appearing non-stop that it might strike the land any time. It has been going on for quite a while but with no rain at all. This phenomenon is weird because it has never happen before. Usually rain comes along very fast. But this time, no. This is the first time that I feel thunder and lightning are so scary. Finally, it rains. But still the thunder and lightning continue to show their power, seem like trying to overtake one another.

Accounting Nite 2010

The Accounting Nite 2010 has just ended. Finally!! Phew... Last week was such a busy week with the workshop conducted everyday. But it was worthwhile. The Accounting Nite 2010 was a great success. The performances were nice. Many seniors liked it especially the Hand Mime performance that we prepared for them.

The Logo

The Backdrop *Theme: Mystical Twilight*

The Dedication Board

Thanks to the special person who came to support us!

You Know Me: Now I know you! ^^

My Good Friends

Thanks for the help, support and cooperation!

My "Grandma"

Thanks for coming to support me!

My Deputy Director + Good Friend

Thanks for recruiting me!

Programme Department

We are the best!

My Programme Head + Good Friend

Thanks for trusting me!

The Signature Board

Best wishes from all the participants

Although it was a fun night, I had a little disappointment too. There was a UMAC Board Installation on that night. It was to choose who are going to lead the UM Accounting Club for the 2010/2011 session.

I applied for it. But I wasn't selected. At that moment when they were announcing, I had a mixed feeling. Disappointed yet relief. Disappointed because I wasn't selected. Relief because I have less burden to carry on my back.

At times, after I applied for it, I have thought of not being selected because I couldn't imagine how busy will I be if I were to be part of the committee in the board. But not getting to be part of the board to join a group of my close friends in UM and spend time together doing activities is something I'm upset of. Although we still spend time together, but the feeling would be different. I enjoy doing things with a group of friends whom I have already had strong bonding of relationship with them. It is fun!

No matter what it is, I believe everything that happens, happens for a reason. A good one of course.

To my friends who succeed: Congratulations!! I'm happy for you all! =)

To my friend who didn't: God is preparing another path for you.

To myself: Live your life to the fullest! Lots more things for you to catch up! ^^

要耐得住孤单

Many things to say... Don't know where to begin...

Life is so unpredictable...

Yeah... I admit that these few days my emotion isn't that stable...

Why...?