Explosion

Have you ever be in a state where you explode all out after keeping everything to yourself for sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long?

I just did. It feels like a release of burden but it wasn't something nice as it is dangerous and might hurt the relationship with people who are close to you.

But when I see something is not right, I think I should voice out.

Is it wrong to be hygienic?

I really can't understand how my house mates can stand the dirtiness in the house. There are so much hairs and dust on the floor but no one seems to take the initiative to sweep the floor. There are 10 people in the house, why is it so hard for them just to do the house chores even once?

Usually I'm the one who do all the cleaning in the house, from sweeping to mopping the floor, cleaning the toilet and the kitchen, wiping the fans and even throwing the rubbish!!! And duty roster does not serve its purpose at all because no one is carrying out their responsibilities accordingly!

10 people and not even one who is willing to do!!! I can't complain to them because it was my choice to stay in here. So I'm complaining here, in my blog!

I know it's not good to complain but I just hope that they at least care to maintain the cleanliness in the house. They are busy, I also have my own work to do. The house is shared by 10 people. And why is there only 1 person who is doing the house chores?

Haiz... Enough of complaining. Now is compliment time. Sometimes they did help also la... but that was like once in a blue moon. The only good thing about them is they cook for everyone to eat more often than me. And I take this to offset every cleaning I do for the house.

Anyway, the situation has really helped me to increase my tolerance level. To avoid argument, is better for me to remain silent and don't complain to them. This is where my blog serves me well because I can freely express my emotion here. But sometimes is limited too especially when it comes to personal matters because my blog is opened to public. So must be aware lo...

That's all for now la... Get back to work!

如果你爱的不是我

This is a nice song composed by UM Yao Lan Shou member. Support local production! ^^

Death

When you see this word, what is the first thing that pops up in your mind?

Scary? Fear? Sad? Neutral? Pessimistic? Natural?

To me, death is a negative word. But it is a natural process of life.

I cannot accept any of my loved ones, friends and family leaving me. I'd be very sad if they did.

But at certain points of time, I thought of leaving this world too.

Seriously, I did. But of course I never and I won't do stupid things to myself.

I just have the thoughts of it. It's not a good thought. So don't follow me.

I don't know how to express or explain why do I have this thinking. It's like when you just don't feel like doing anything, seeing anyone or going anywhere.

At that point of time, I feel like stopping. Taking a break from everything, everyone. I never knew what it'd be like after death. But I'm not fear of it either because I accept that it's part of life.

P/S: It's just an emo post. Don't worry about me.

Selfish Politicians

I just read a friend's post here. It's very thoughtful of him to think from different perspectives regarding our nation, especially the political issue which is strongly debated nowadays.

As the election is approaching, I guess all the parties are always finding ways to attack each other and gain trust from the public.

One thing I dislike about them is they always raise up the racial issue.

In the first place, do children know what is Malay, Chinese or Indian?

Is there any racial issue among the public?

I just want to say that actually people are innocent. There is no problem or conflict between different races as we have been living quite harmoniously since long, long time ago.

Why do the public become more aware of racial issue? It's because of the politicians! We actually can live harmoniously in a multi-racial country. From my experience, I mixed well with other races and I never dislike them before.

Using racial issue to gain support from their own communities, this is a selfish action!

As long as we have those selfish politicians "up there", this country will never prosper.

Love.Love.Love

I received a sms from my best friend. It was a normal chatting-sms just to keep in touch with each other. Then she told me some good news! Two good friends from our gang have just been indulged in love. Haha... They found themselves a gf. I'm happy for them. ^^

The next question which appeared in my mind was - When will be my turn?

I started questioning myself - Am I not good enough?

Or was it that in my subconscious mind I'm not ready for a relationship?

I don't have the answer. I'm not desperate for one but yet I admire those who have.

Come to think of it, so far I have never really fallen in love with anyone. But I do admire certain people. Admire doesn't equal to love, right?

At certain times, I would really miss someone so much. Many people often suffer from love because they can't get to be with the person they love. A question was raised in my mind again -

Why when we love someone, we must be together with him/her?

Why must we possess him/her?

Why must we feel that he/she belongs to us?

When you love someone and yet you can't be with that person, does it mean you have lost him/her? No. He/She would still be in this world. And you still get to meet him/her. So why suffer?

I've come to realize this when I started thinking deeply.

I enjoy hanging out with the person I love, but I don't necessary need to possess him/her.

I enjoy talking to the person I love, but I don't necessary need to be attached to him/her.

I enjoy loving the person as it is, but I don't necessary need to let him/her know.

It might sound weird to you, but that's how I think. You see, when you are so obsessed to be with someone you love but you can't, then you'd feel sad. This feeling of sadness of not getting what you desire would cause you to suffer. That's what happening to most of the people now in love life.

Love should be a happy thing. It's the most powerful element of all. If love causes sadness, then why love?

This comes back to my thoughts which I mentioned above. If I love someone, I'm satisfied just by knowing he/she is living happily. And knowing that I can comfort them when they need me.

Life's Story by Yan Zi's Songs

［雨天］，仿佛想起［第一天］［遇见］你...你［很好］吗？想你的时候我［学会］[我不难过］, [ 我怀念的］你，在那？你的［眼神］终给我［奔］向你的力量，［真的］想带你［逃亡］到另一个［不同］的世界，［逆光］地看［难得一见］而［神奇］的［绿光］，一起在［太阳底下］放［风筝］，［安宁］地生活［一起走到］人生的尽头，[懒得去管］别人的［另一张脸］，［这一刻］只要［听见］你的［Honey Honey ] 就是［我要的幸福］。在我的心中［直来直往］，［懂事］的你是我［爱情字典］里的［零缺点］，我知道你［不是真的爱我］，只要能成为你的［同类］我不［害怕］［随堂测验］努力地争取我们的［爱情证书］。最后我想对你说［我的爱］虽然［未完成］，但［永远］没有［休止符］，请［相信］我，不是［我不爱］你了，只是［任性］的我，不想成为你的［累赘］。

(Extracted from Yan Zi's fan page composed by her fans)

Cooking

When you see the title, what comes to your mind? Haha... Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to write some recipes or what here. It's just that I want to share my joy of cooking here. Many people thought I don't know how to cook based on my appearance but I actually do know how to cook. Of course this cooking is extended beyond frying eggs or cooking instant noodle.

I seldom cook at home. But ever since I came to UM and shifted to stay outside, I started cooking. Usually my roommates and I will cook together. But today, I cooked independently without them to try how good my skill is. The result of the experiment: My roommates like what I cooked and said that it's tasty. Haha...

Anyway, I'm not here to boast or to show off. I write this to remind myself so that next time when I go home, I would cook for my family to eat since all this while they were the ones who cooked for me to eat. And if there's any chance, I would love to invite my friends to come over to eat as well. ^^

Soul Mate

I always thought that the soul mate for human being must be a human being. I realized I was wrong until yesterday when I watched Yao Lan Shou Nite, live band performance. Due to the heavy courses in this semester, I was again being taken off the track of my desired terminal.

Watching the performance brings me ALIVE back. I was 'dead' when I didn't pursue my dreams. Just like a living dead who lives for nothing but to wait for death. Doing the routine task and living normally like everyone else - study, work, play, build a family and eventually die.

When I am feeling down, music is my companion.

When I am feeling happy, music is my companion.

When I have nothing to do, music is my companion.

When I am stress, music is my companion.

I can't live a day without music. It heals my heart, soothes my mind, and saves my soul. And I realized soul mate can be intangible. Not being a human being.

Life is a song - The melody is the physical part of your life and the lyrics makes up your life, how you are living your life. Your journey and the story is the lyrics. Nothing is complete without one.

Now that you have a melody with you. You have the choice to fill in your own lyrics. You can write anything you like. You have the choice to decide how you want to live.

Ask yourself - What is the purpose of you living in this world? Find the answer. And eventually you will form the lyrics.

Live life to the fullest!

Inspiring Phrases

When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices.

Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams.

Choice is yours...

Never explain yourself to anyone.

Because the person who likes you doesn't need it,

and the person who dislikes you won't believe it.

When you keep saying you are busy,

then you are never free.

When you keep saying you have no time,

then you will never have time.

When you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow,

then your tomorrow will never come.

We make them cry who care for us.

We cry for those who never care for us.

And we care for those who will never cry for us.

This is the truth of life. It's strange but true.

Once you realized this, it's never too late to change.

我还是理智的

当我的好朋友问我，“你觉得你和他有可能吗?”

我说，“没有”

但，我心里却很希望我们是有可能的。

Just now...

...I received a message, "Happy Valentine".

What does this mean?

You are always confusing me and giving me hope.

我很辛苦。

Fun and Memorable!

Seniors' Convocation

Uncle's Birthday

Buddy Gathering

S. E. Ekspres Sdn. Bhd. ---> TERRIBLE!

Today I had my worst journey ever! I spent almost 9 hours just to come back to Malacca from KL!! It is even more than enough time for me to travel to Penang. Ok la... I know I'm exaggerating. But mentally I've really wasted 9 hours just to go home.

I finished my class at 10am. Supposedly I could straight away go home but I didn't. I waited for my friend to finish her class at 12pm so that I could follow her car to Seremban (her hometown is Seremban) then take a bus back to Malacca from Seremban Terminal. I chose this option rather than taking a bus back from Bukit Jalil because I thought it would be more convenient for me.

We departed at 1pm. As usual, those "kepoh" people would always slow down when there is accident and this has caused the highway to be congested! We reached Seremban at 2.30pm. Since I was already there, my friend brought me to Empayar Siew Pow to buy some "siew pow" home.

She then fetched me to Terminal and by the time I reached there it was 3pm. I thought there wouldn't be so many people since Seremban is not a peak point. But I was wrong!! The earliest ticket left for Transnasional was 5pm. Gosh!! I need to wait for 2 hours??

I didn't want to so I went all over the place to search for other buses with earlier time. And the earliest I found was 4.30pm. It doesn't make much difference right? But at that point of time, 1/2 hour was so crucial to me. So I decided to take this unknown bus namely SE Ekpres. But the bus was labelled SE Super.

I'm really dissatisfied with this company! What super? What express? CRAP! And the workers were so unfriendly!! And they conned my money too!! As you can see from the picture below, the time printed out was 4pm. But they said it was old system so it was actually scheduled at 4.30pm.

The price printed was RM8.50 but they charged me RM9. At first they wanted to charge me RM15!!! WTH!!! RM15??? Even travel from KL to Malacca only cost me RM12.20. I asked them why RM15, they said festival season. "Sekarang raya... byk org balik... tambang naik.." What do you mean by Raya when it is still one month away from now?! STUPID!

I didn't bother what they said so I gave them RM10. Then they returned me RM1 only. Where has the RM0.50 gone? Into their pocket or into the company's account? If it has gone into their pocket, I pity the company for having such dishonest, greedy and unfriendly workers who only bring down the company's reputation. If it enters the company's account, then I have no respect for this company at all because the festive season is still 1 month away and now they have increased their charges.

The worker who sold the ticket to me was Aiman according to the record in the ticket. He was very RUDE! What a JERK! There was the company's website on the ticket and I tried to surf online so that I could lodge a complaint but this address isn't valid! So LOUSY!!

OK. Continue with my story. The bus departed at 4.35pm and we were asked to sit anywhere when in fact there was seat number on the ticket. I thought I could reached home in 1 hour's time but do you know what time I reached? 6.30pm! Arrrrgggghhhhhhhh......................

2 hours journey = time taken from KL to Malacca. This bus was super duper slow. It was raining during the journey and the bus was leaking!!! GOSH!!! What bus is this??? I swear I will never take this bus again!!

I believe in the law of attraction because

you'd always be there when I need you. Thanks! ^^

亲人

I love this song when I heard it for the first time and now I love it even more. I'm so touched by it.

It's 1.27 a.m.

and I don't feel like doing anything! Audit tutorial will be in 6 and 1/2 hours time.

Gosh! I haven't even prepare any answer for the tutorial questions.

Arrgghh...

If only all my classes are lessons on music, dance, act, design, sports and whatever that interest you which you can think of...

Even to the extend of sacrificing my sleep, I would be willing.

Am I in the wrong field? After 2 years of studies and now in the 3rd year - I'm still asking myself this question?!

But I never regretted with my choice because I believe no matter what circumstances I'm in, be it good or bad, I will always learn something from it and gain something from it.

Changing Style

To me, changing a new style is like starting a new life. Forget the past, anticipate the future.

When I was being hurt deeply years ago, I changed my style. I love the new style which I'm now feeling comfortable with. I started a new life once I changed my style. I was happier back then.

And now, I want to start a new life again. Being hurt once is painful, being hurt twice is numb. I'm not happy but I'm not sad either. I just can't feel anything anymore. It's like losing the sensory nerves.

We started to get close in December last year. I thought we might have a chance. I know I'm passive but actually I'm shy. And I don't know if I can give you happiness. That's why I hold myself back.

I'm always confused by you. The signals you gave sometimes were hard to interpret. I don't ask much. I just want to know the truth.

Finally, you told me, that you are with him. I've been burdening myself with curiosity since months ago. And now, I'm relieved although it's not what I want to hear. But I know you are happier with him. I know he can take good care of you better than I do.

I felt so stupid. And I am. But I do wish to see you happy.

I don't need a person to be with me just because I love that person. I just need to know that they are happy. It's enough.

Have you ever felt so numb that even when you are sad, there is no tears at all? That's how I'm feeling now.

3rd Party

Today I just want to share my opinion on the so-called "3rd party" in a relationship. Most of the people will think that 3rd party is bad. But I personally don't think so.

In a relationship, if a couple loves each other deeply, do you think there is any chance 3rd party can come in? Think again. If there is problem in a relationship, do you think they might end up breaking up eventhough there is no 3rd party?

When a couple breaks up because of the appearance of the 3rd party, he/she is not the one to be blamed. There is no right or wrong in a relationship. 3rd party is only acting as an enzyme that accelerates the process of breaking up. If a relationship is strong, there's no way the 3rd party can have any chance of penetrating their bond.

When a relationship is weak, the couple will soon be torn apart too even without a 3rd party. The only difference is timing. Either they end it earlier or they end it later. 3rd party will make the process faster and usually people don't like it because they think they can have chance to amend and continue their relationship if in the 1st place the 3rd party didn't appear.

This is just an excuse used by them to cover up the problems that arise in a relationship.

P/S: This is just merely my opinion and it has nothing to do with anyone.