Changing Style

To me, changing a new style is like starting a new life. Forget the past, anticipate the future.

When I was being hurt deeply years ago, I changed my style. I love the new style which I'm now feeling comfortable with. I started a new life once I changed my style. I was happier back then.

And now, I want to start a new life again. Being hurt once is painful, being hurt twice is numb. I'm not happy but I'm not sad either. I just can't feel anything anymore. It's like losing the sensory nerves.

We started to get close in December last year. I thought we might have a chance. I know I'm passive but actually I'm shy. And I don't know if I can give you happiness. That's why I hold myself back.

I'm always confused by you. The signals you gave sometimes were hard to interpret. I don't ask much. I just want to know the truth.

Finally, you told me, that you are with him. I've been burdening myself with curiosity since months ago. And now, I'm relieved although it's not what I want to hear. But I know you are happier with him. I know he can take good care of you better than I do.

I felt so stupid. And I am. But I do wish to see you happy.

I don't need a person to be with me just because I love that person. I just need to know that they are happy. It's enough.

Have you ever felt so numb that even when you are sad, there is no tears at all? That's how I'm feeling now.