Finally Back Home...

Yes, I'm back home! It feels so nice to be home even though is only for 1 day++. Left 2 weeks to final exam. Haven't started anything yet.

Clueless... Don't know where to begin...

Must work hard in these 2 weeks!

The Secret Revealed

Regarding the previous post, I forgot to say something. Actually during last year Xiao Chuang, I have thought to myself before that I'm going to write a song and submit it in the coming Xiao Chuang which is this year which has just passed yesterday. I was determined at that time.

But this year just when Xiao Chuang was around the corner, I only have a song with me and I didn't plan to submit it in the 1st place. Due to lesser song submission this year compared to last year, Yuan Teng asked me to submit and said she would write the lyrics for me. And then the story continued like what I've written in previous posts.

I don't know if you have read a book on "The Secret". In this book, it explained about Law of Attraction. To simplify it, it says that whatever we think of and if we want it and believe we can get it just by the thoughts of our mind, we can finally receive what we want. Be who we want to be. Achieve what we want. Universe will react with our thoughts, just like a magnetic field.

I've tried a few times thinking of something that I want, and it really worked out. However, there were times when it failed.

In this case, for the song competition, I guessed the Universe has answered to my thoughts which were being asked last year.

And because of this, I will do my best in everything, think positively, have faith.

Out of Expectation!

Finally, the song composing competition has just ended yesterday. Out of my expectation, my song got 3rd place.

I don't know want to feel happy or sad. But I just feel I don't deserve it. My song is just a very normal song. Too normal even for a beginner. Is not something special. I can't find any winning point in it.

When submitting my song for preliminary round, I never expect to enter final. And when I knew it entered final, I was happy enough. Just wanted to perform it well in final and never, NEVER even think of getting any prize for this final.

There are so many other songs in final which are better than mine. I just really can't figure out why.

But anyway, this prize does not belong to me alone. Without lyrics, it wouldn't be a song. Without singer, it wouldn't be heard. Without music arrangement, it wouldn't be performed out.

And so I want to say a million thanks to Yuan Teng for writing the lyrics for me, Rachel for singing the song for me, and Stephen for arranging and playing the guitar for me.

And actually after I composed the melody, Yuan Teng modified some blunt tones of mine into more rounded melody.

And I feel that my melody is not original in a sense that I feel like I was imitating many other songs and combined the melody into one and then modified a bit, then became my own song. @@

That's why I don't deserve the prize. I need to learn more. And seriously, although I was happy getting the prize, but I feel more guilty than happy.

There's still a long way for me to go in music path...

最后。。。祝我们快乐

作曲(Composer): Stef

作词(Lyricist): Yuan Teng

最后。。。祝我们快乐

嘿 这次请你听我说

有些困惑 我一直都等不到结果

选择了 放弃的人是我

选择了 不管怕不怕 寂寞

不该出现的难过

不该暗自去猜测你在想什么

我知道 我其实想太多

我知道 我们两都有错

关于这决定 就让我来做

*相信你会明白的

没有爱了 在继续只是附和

没有什么舍不得

做彼此生命的过客

相信你会明白的

有些伤痕 太深不能愈合

我们经过的每一刻

都反复记录着

爱情里的挫折

如果我没有说

只能沉默一拖再拖

不如告一段落

让我们都好过

相信你会明白的

没有爱了 虚有其白的空壳

尽管会有些舍不得

但也许停在这 对我们都好呢

在最后这刻想说

祝我们都快乐

I want to go home...

How long have I not been back home? About 2 weeks. And I will only go back after another 2 weeks. Though 2 weeks or 1 month seems like a 'short' period, but it's long for me especially when I don't get to see my family and how's their condition now. I really miss them.

Sometimes I wonder, what's my purpose in life? What's my purpose of living? I can't seem to find the answer. Humans live and die. It's like a cycle. I'm glad and thankful that my family and I are still alive today. But sometimes the fear of losing someone would somehow plays in my mind. I'm scared.

I've been spending lesser time with my family nowadays. I've been occupied by other things in university like studies and activities. Is this worth? My cousin just called me just now. She told me that my aunt (my secondary mother) is not feeling well recently. Then only I realized I have not been calling home since I was back to UM. *guilty*

I called my aunt just now to ask how is she. All she said to me was to take good care of myself. I know she really cares for me. After we hang up, I cried. I don't know why tears suddenly just burst out like that. I think I'm too emotional recently. Serious. I have to learn to control.

My life's journey is not easy, I know...

What's in my mind?

I miss the good old days...

The Life of A 2nd Year Student

Just finished with Charity Fair 2009. Left two more visits to go before Charity Project 2009 officially ends. Feel like half of the burden has been removed from my back. It is so much lighter than before. =) Though becoming a programme head is stressful and not easy, I learnt a lot.

But my activities just didn't stop here. Now have to focus on MASC. A much bigger event, national level. Feel excited though now is the busiest time for us, publicity team. We are happy to get participation from students from all over Malaysia. =)

MASC is not the only one. On the other hand, I have a concert to organize. It's called DAYAO. The biggest chinese community event in UM after PTUM. So, what type of concert is this? All songs that will be performed in this concert are composed by UM students. It's a platform to discover talented students, a chance for them to perform. It will be held next year February, but the preparation has started since early this semester. This coming DAYAO's theme is I~Infinity. We open this concert to everyone who is interested to watch! =)

Don't Worry

I'm fine.

Pain in the heart

I'm hurt!

I don't know how to describe this...

Since 2 days ago, my room mate started not talking to me. I don't know what happen.

I asked her, she was reluctant to answer.

Then I thought it is better for me to remain silent.

Until now, she's still isn't talking to me.

And at this hour, she's reluctant to come back room.

Dear SE: I don't know what I've done, but if you don't like to talk to me, it's fine. If you think staying in the same room will make you feel uneasy, then it's fine. You can choose another friend to be your room mate. You decide. I will respect every decision of yours.