I expected more from you but I think you don’t realize it. I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything from you. There are many quotes saying that we should give more and expect less. But I guess it’s in our human nature that we are usually expecting more.

I know you will be reading this. I wanted to tell you all these face to face but I don’t know how and where to start. I know I said communication is important and that’s why I’m writing this message for you to understand me more.

Sometimes simple words of caring is just not enough to show how much you really care. That’s how I feel.

I don’t want a boyfriend, I need a real man…

Sometimes when I watched those young adults love drama series, I really admire the leading actress and I do wish I could be like her in reality. Having someone to love you so deeply that he’s willing to sacrifice for you. Of course not all the things in the drama are realistic. However, there are certain things which are possible in life. I’ve seen a lot of couples around me and I know many things are possible. It’s a matter of will.

I don’t demand much but there is a certain extent of expectation that I wish I could receive from my loved one.

I don’t need a rich man who could buy me expensive things or bring me for fine dining all the time…

I don’t need a good looking man…

I don’t need a talented man…

I don’t need a super smart man…

I don’t need a very tall man…

I don’t need a very fit man…

But what I need is…

someone who is very caring. Someone who could at least give me a few minutes call every night just to talk to me to find out what I’ve gone through for the day just to make sure that I’m alright.

someone who is very caring that when I have no time to eat or when I don’t feel like eating, he will find his way to feed me. Just like when I get back home after every out station, he could at least come and find me just to bring me out to eat.

someone who is very caring that he will do whatever it takes to understand me more. Read my blog and follow me in FB for my every updates.

someone who is very caring that he will be by my side whenever I need him without me telling him so.

Is that so hard?

Life is about CREATING!

2 weeks of out station job has really made me think a lot. Many things are running in my mind and I am yet to filter them. Had a good conversation with my best friend yesterday and I learnt something from him through the conversation. We talked about career and future and I realized I am always waiting for opportunity but opportunity will not come by itself. We need to CREATE the opportunity for ourselves!

Christ

Somehow I could feel His presence. I was first exposed to Him through my best friend, Tse Hwei. I'm being touched by Him. Whenever someone tries to share Christianity with me, I'm always willing to listen and somehow every time when people talk about God, I could feel Him and every time after sharing about it, there is a sense of joy and relief in me. I don't know why I feel this way but I just feel this way. I wouldn't call myself a Christian yet because I don't think I'm fit to be called one. I don't go to church and I don't pray to God. But somehow I believe in Him.

Journey Vs Destination

Say is easy, do is hard.

I thought I can make it, but I'm struggling.

Everyone can get through a tough journey but the question is how do they feel along the way?

Happy? Sad? Disappointed? Excited?

The destination is important but the journey itself is more important.

How much time do you spend along the way just for you to reach your end goal?

We spend most of our time in life just to walk or run towards our goals. So think again. Is the journey more important than the destination or the destination more important than the journey?

I prefer to have an enjoyable journey while walking towards my desired destination because I think that's what makes our life worth living for. So if I'm struggling now, does it mean that I need to change my path or change my perception?