Here comes the second post of mine for this year.
I'm feeling emo. Why?
Although I have been in UM for 1 semester and made quite many friends here but I don't feel the sense of belonging here.
Now it's the starting of my second semester in my first year studies in UM.
I'm not sad but I'm not happy either. Is hard to describe my feeling. I felt that there is a wall between me and my friends in UM. I'm like from a different channel from them. Sometimes I just can't fit into them.
Is it because I'm too sensitive and think too much?
Hmm... I don't know the answer. Maybe I think too much. But I hate this kind of feeling. I don't feel good. I don't feel nice.
Why I care so much? I mean, why want to bother so much about my friends?
Because friends are the most important people in my life after family. That is why, I CARE...
I feel like I have been left out by my friends.
And I think this problem came from myself. I need to examine myself.
What's wrong with me?
Am I not friendly enough?
Am I too cool? Or treated friends in a coldly manner?
Am I not helpful enough?
Did I talk rudely?
Have I accidentally hurt my friends' feeling while talking?
Am I too arrogant?
Am I hard to approach to?
Did I boast too much?
Do I possess all the bad characteristics that friends dislike?
If yes, can you please let me know? So that I can change. I'm willing to change, no matter how hard. To throw away all the bad characteristics and adopt the good ones.
Please tell me so. Whatever you dislike about me, just let me know. I will change. I don't want to be left out by friends.
Friends, maybe you might not know. But I really cherish each of you who have come into my life and show me the meaning of friends.
Maybe we meet less, maybe we talk less, maybe we sms less, maybe we contact less. But I will never forget anyone who has left footprints in my heart. Be it a deep one or a shallow one. Each one is important to me.
I'm grateful to have all of you in my life.
I'm feeling emo. Why?
Although I have been in UM for 1 semester and made quite many friends here but I don't feel the sense of belonging here.
Now it's the starting of my second semester in my first year studies in UM.
I'm not sad but I'm not happy either. Is hard to describe my feeling. I felt that there is a wall between me and my friends in UM. I'm like from a different channel from them. Sometimes I just can't fit into them.
Is it because I'm too sensitive and think too much?
Hmm... I don't know the answer. Maybe I think too much. But I hate this kind of feeling. I don't feel good. I don't feel nice.
Why I care so much? I mean, why want to bother so much about my friends?
Because friends are the most important people in my life after family. That is why, I CARE...
I feel like I have been left out by my friends.
And I think this problem came from myself. I need to examine myself.
What's wrong with me?
Am I not friendly enough?
Am I too cool? Or treated friends in a coldly manner?
Am I not helpful enough?
Did I talk rudely?
Have I accidentally hurt my friends' feeling while talking?
Am I too arrogant?
Am I hard to approach to?
Did I boast too much?
Do I possess all the bad characteristics that friends dislike?
If yes, can you please let me know? So that I can change. I'm willing to change, no matter how hard. To throw away all the bad characteristics and adopt the good ones.
Please tell me so. Whatever you dislike about me, just let me know. I will change. I don't want to be left out by friends.
Friends, maybe you might not know. But I really cherish each of you who have come into my life and show me the meaning of friends.
Maybe we meet less, maybe we talk less, maybe we sms less, maybe we contact less. But I will never forget anyone who has left footprints in my heart. Be it a deep one or a shallow one. Each one is important to me.
I'm grateful to have all of you in my life.
4 comments:
there are only a select few in the entire world who can click with everyone. there are not quite so few who can't click with almost everyone most of the time. i'm one of those in the second group. aha. i'm facing the same thing also in law fac. but i've found recently, that altho i feel awkward and overly quiet with most of my coursemates, i'm very comfortable with a few of them.
being an introvert all my life has taught me that since i'm already an introvert, i can't do much about it without exchanging a huge chunk of myself with something that isn't me. i've learned to accept that i can't make friends or click with them as easily as other people may do, but i can still appreciate the few friends i CAN click with. those are the ones that will keep, if i love and care for them all my life.
so do the same. don't expect to be friends with everybody. but don't expect to find your close circle of friends too quickly. wait it out. the time will come.
there's nothing wrong with you. cuz if there is, then there's something wrong with me too.
and there isn't! *muka tebal* =P
Wow!! First time I got such a loooooonng comment. Haha.. But it's a good one indeed! What you said is right! Maybe I expect too much from them. It shouldn't be like this. of course i'm much better now... like you said, few frens who i can click with. don worry, even if i hv no one close, i still have you... hee hee.. ^^
i felt exactly the same during my last sem too... mayb abit worse den urs? i tink i told most of u rite? haha... jz don tink too much.. im nw hapier in upm 4nt tinking so much.. hehe... u stil hv ur bestie wif u no matter wat... cheer up gal! if i can do it, u definitely can do it betta!=)
Hi there, Hui Min! hehe... thx for ur advice! Happy to hear from you and also feel glad that u r doing fine there. I'm fine now... i think that time i was jz too emo... haha... anyway, all the best ya! see u during new year!! ^^
Post a Comment