自卑

I am. You may see me as someone who is full of confidence with high self-esteem but it is only part of me to protect myself and hide my fragile heart which can be easily broken. I care about my appearance a lot. I admit it. It took me years to build up my confidence and everytime I look into the mirror, I need to tell myself, “You look good.” But the fact is, I know I don’t. I don’t even think I belong to the average look category. I might fall below that. Everytime when I tell myself that I look good, that’s a lie. I know most of you would say outer look is not important and the most important thing is inner beauty. Bullshit! You can only feel the inner beauty when you get to know someone well enough. But for 1st impression, looks does matter. When people see you for the 1st time, marks is already given upon the face. This is reality. Sometimes I really feel I’m ugly. This factor pulls me down a lot and I’m only using other factors to pull me up.

 

When only can I stop lying to myself and have the courage to face the truth?